I have been back in the Vail Valley for just a little over two weeks now and I am having a love-hate relationship with being home. I love being home with my family, but I hate being away from the children and the country of Cambodia. There is not a day that goes by or even an hour, where I don't think about the children at CHA. I miss their smiles, the best hugs in the world, and their beautiful-amazing personalities. Every time I think about David, Dina, Witchka, Sok-Nee, and all the other little reasons for living, I tear up. They each have a chunk of my heart and it can never be replaced by anything or anyone else! I love them so much!
After experiencing this journey, I am a changed person! I grew so much. Because of this, I have many realizations about life. In Cambodia it's the little things that matter, while here, those little things are what we take for granted everyday of our lives. We also care so much about what we have, the kind, size, look of it, and how it compares to others we know. The electronics I have just laying around my house available for use at anytime of the day is weird for me now. I think back to the day I was blogging at the Internet Cafe and all I wanted and needed was to talk to my family and hear their voices. As I stood in the middle of the room, breaking down crying because the SKYPE would not work, I thought how lucky I am and how much I appreciate those electronics. Also, going shopping with my mom at the store and seeing the ten different kinds of milk, cheese, juice, gum, yogurt, cereal, etc. crushes me. Parents are so picky about what they feed their children, and children are so picky about what they eat. Any child in Cambodia would be so happy just to have a bite of food because they don't know when their next meal could be. One of our groups goals on the Cambodia Trip 2011 was to try not to complain while there. I seemed to carry this accomplished goal back with me because I am catching myself saying something negative. The other morning I woke up and I was dreading going to school. I began telling my mom and dad how school is getting on my nerves and that I did not want to go. However, when I heard the words coming out of my mouth I stopped and thought about what I was saying. The children at CHA would love to go to school everyday-all day, and get an education which could later help them become self-sustainable. Ugh! I would do absolutely anything for each an every one of them to go to school. I am so lucky I have parents who can afford for my brother and I to go to school, which provides good education and I appreciate what I am able to learn on a daily basis.
The various things we have here are not things we should be ashamed about but, we should cherish. I encourage everyone to sit down once a day and think about how lucky we are to live in the beautiful town we live in- surrounded by amazingly generous and nice people-and evaluate what there is actually to complain about in your life. I know you can do it!!
Also, being back, I have a different patience level for things. It baffles me to see the respect the children at the orphanage show you versus the respect some of my peers and the some of the adults show each other in this valley. I have no patience anymore for those surrounding me who do not show their respect by saying please and thank you, smiling, and being overall thankful for what they have in their life. This is a habit everyone should stride to do because you can get very far in life with showing respect to others and their things. Everyone should realize life is not about who you are or what you have, it's about how you share it.
These little lessons I learned while in Cambodia, are continuing to re-occur in my life everyday and add to the big picture-life. Thinking about these children everyday, wondering if they have food, if they are healthy, or most of all if they have received a hug makes me want to jump on a plane tomorrow. I know they are fine, because we have been getting emails from the orphanage, but I know they miss us just as much as we miss them!
I feel so inspired by these children that I am motivated to do anything and everything on my journey of helping! Lisamarie used this quote in one of her blogs last year, "Nothing is more unstoppable than the human soul on fire." Helping others in need and sharing my love with them makes me feel so happy!
Love.
Anna
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